A Mother's Nature

dreaming sweetly

2012-02-12T21:09:00.000-08:00

My girl snuggled with me last night because her daddy is working out of town. We miss him.

Cuddles with her make any morning the best. I woke before her and quietly cuddled closer, taking in her peace and serenity...and cuteness.

These days keep speeding by. Through the business of it all, I am anchored by her.

"Mama, the best part of my day was that I was with you".

Treasuring each moment and looking forward to the next all the while feeling

so blessed and incredibly grateful.

Even on the most tiresome days.

Thankful

2011-11-07T22:04:00.000-08:00

Completely.

Parenthood

2011-09-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

Much of being a mama to a curious three year old involves answering the endless, "why, mama? How come? What's that mean?", questions. I usually answer simply as that is what I feel she is ready for and will understand the most: Why does the birdy sit on that wire? To take a rest and visit with the other birdies. Why do you yell when we are on the freeway? Oh sorry love, I should not yell. That person has forgotten to use his manners and it made mama sad. :)

But today, there came a harder question: about war. We were at a farewell party for a family friend who's son will be serving in Afganistan through the military. As we are getting ready to go, my girl is asking a million questions. Why is he leaving? Where is he going?what? How, where, when, will there be cake? Etc., etc, etc. My answers were again, to the point. He protects us. Like policemen and women, firefighters and paramedics. My girl looked at me, tilting her head and really pondering. The subject was dropped and we headed out.

During the party her questions resumed when the soldier brought out his vested gear and helmet.
I did my best to keep it simple, not wanting to go into any war aspect. This is what he is going to wear when he protects us...just like daddy, police and firemen have a uniform. Suddenly a young lady interjected and mentioned that the soldier will be, "fighting the bad guys". I saw my girls face freeze. This description was not what I had in mind. "Where are the bad guys, mama?" her eyes now scared. I sat her down and looked gently into her bright blue eyes that by this time were ready for answers. I told her she didn't have to be afraid. All the while there was a lump in my throat. I do not understand war. How can I even begin to explain it to my 3 year old. My hugs and cuddles brought security and I was thankful for that. It just made me realize even more the gammett of never ending explanations that I will give as a parent as well as the competing view points and ways to answer hard questions. I will be honest, but I don't want to scare her, especially at this young age. Must find the middle ground...which is what I will strive for.

In the meantime. I found this here. And love it.

If you’ve ever:

…gotten a lump in your throat while you heard the heartbeat of your baby;

…unwrapped your newly swaddled baby, completely out of curiosity;

…held the feet of an infant to your lips;

…gotten tears on your baby’s head in the middle of the night while feeding him or her;

…been so tired you handed your spouse a sippy cup instead of a beer;

…researched the cure for croup, at 3 a.m.;

…picked a tiny nose with your pinky finger;

…stumbled over your words, as you explained something so very big to someone so very small;

…wished with all your might for moments forever lost in time;

…surprisingly realized there were tears on your cheeks;

…paced the halls of your home, mentally willing a fever to break;

…wondered how it was possible for a little person to eat so much;

…wondered how it was possible for a little person to eat so little;

…discussed growth spurts, cradle cap, and the colour, consistency and smell of poop;

…were surprised at how long his little legs were getting as you re-tucked him in, before retiring for the night;

…felt warm vomit down your back as you try to calm your frightened child;

…laid awake and wondered if you could have done something better;

…heard 18 excuses why he doesn’t want to go to bed;

…bought them new shoes despite the fact you’ve had yours for 3 years running;

…baked 32 cupcakes at 10:30 at night;

(after doing a milk run in your pajamas);

…filled out a field trip form, only to worry about all the things that could go wrong;

…volunteered for that field trip to put your own mind at ease;

…stayed by the window after allowing her to bike to the variety store;

…talked candidly about sex and drugs, all the while nursing knots in your tummy;

…felt your heart soar along with his when he saved the game;

…been mad at someone else’s kid for hurting your kid’s feelings;

…taught them how to cook a meal/do a load of laundry/long division/anything, and somehow not ripped your hair out;

…been more excited than ever for Christmas morning, just to see their faces;

…spoiled them rotten when you got a few extra bucks;

…made her favorite meal, just because;

…tusseled his hair, and pulled him back for a kiss and a hug when he squirmed away;

…laid awake at night and willed time to slow down;

…thought you’d never, ever feel love like this – so raw and powerful – leaving you so very vulnerable…

…then you’re doing it right.

XoXo - Steph

treasures.

2011-04-14T14:26:00.000-07:00

I pulled these beauties from the washer last night.
A felt bunny, fairy and a teeny plastic turtle.

Tired, borderline crabby and just ready to put my feet up after finishing this final chore.Low and behold, it was the treasure within the mundane that made me stop,be thankful and kiss my sweet girl one more time before turning in.

I love wondering what story she was telling with these sweet things. Her imagination is beautiful and thinking about the possibilities of it makes me smile.

A perfect ending to the day, indeed.

Budding

2011-02-28T11:27:00.001-08:00

Spring is almost here. Budding flowers are all around.
Possibility of what will be.The winter weather comes and goes,
cold and raining then sunny and breezy.

I am sending off my last application for grad school today.
The last task on the very long list that was.
Then...we wait for their decision and eventually, we make ours.
Waiting is always harder because my control of the situation or outcome is lost.

At this rate, I know April will take forever to come.
So I will try my best to not let anxiety of the waiting get to me.
In the end, what will be...will be.

Making the best of waiting.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-21T21:41:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesdays- Photo Credit: Tonia Aquila Photography

2010-07-28T09:44:00.000-07:00

Love List

2010-07-19T13:59:00.001-07:00

I love the way:

her giggles seem to endlessly pour out of her cute little belly when I tickle her,

she calls out every morning, "Mama, Dada, I'm ready to get uuppp!"

she turns wearing a dress into an everyday mission,

she thanks me for her meals (almost always),

she always wants to wear her "glass slippers" even though they are getting too small and make blisters on her ankles,

she twirls, around and around, while dancing to music that plays on her Pandora station,

she smells when she is fresh out of the tub and wrapped in a towel,

her face lights up when she sees normal everyday things; a cat, rolly polly, airplane in the sky, a flower in the grass.

she whispers sweetly in my ear, "I love you with all my heart, Mama."

she reminds me of how lucky I am to be her Mama, every. single. day.

<3

41 days ago...

2010-07-09T15:12:00.000-07:00

...I did it. WE did it.
I have many to thank for the support along the way, here are just a few:

I am:

reveling in being done with my BA and looking to what is next

cherishing this extra time I have to be with Eva and Eric

and thanking God for all of his blessings

Summah' Summahh' Summahh-tiiimme!

2010-06-14T10:55:00.000-07:00

Warning: EXTREMELY PICTURE HEAVY POST
It's Summer and the fun has begun!
I am off of work and school 2 days a week making for a
very nice and much looked forward to 4.day.weekend.

Tis' the season for;

Popsicles on the grass,

New & stylish headbands from Grandma,

saying, "see ya later ma, I am off to Macy's"...Um NO, you are not and give me back my bankcard and get in your car seat ...please :)

driving a red-hot mustang at the carnival,

enjoying a rapidly melting strawberry ice-cream cone,

experiencing the sand between our toes & finding seashells on the
foggy northern California shore,

french braids and Elmo,

and watching the birds sing while having lunch together on a picnic bench
in a little wine country town.

Times to treasure...
Yay, Summer.

To me, she is everything....

2010-05-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

soon, oh so very soon...

2010-04-14T13:20:00.001-07:00

Waiting, in limbo, for the unknown.
I am afraid to check the mailbox, but at the same time, excited to know the answer.

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I'll check my machine, there's sure to be that call
It's gonna happen soon, soon, soon
It's just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don't you understand
I already have a plan
I'm waiting for my real life to begin

-Colin Hay

Until then, I must enjoy the KNOWN.

No matter what happens, I know I have:
the beautiful spring weather and summer not far behind,
my family and friends who form an amazing support system
and EVERY SWEET SWEET DAY to watch Eva grow.
That is so much more than enough.

<3

words to live by

2010-02-26T14:55:00.001-08:00

Words that speak to me, especially now.
What a week.

GOING TOO FAST

Live your life like the wind.

Speed up when necessary,
And know when to slow down.

Slow down when life pushes so hard and fast,
You cannot consume anymore air.

Slow down when you can't see
Where you're going
Or where you're coming from.

Take time to stop and realize
What you have right in front of you
When you cannot find what you're looking for.

When you cannot find what you want in someone else,
Look inside of yourself.

Don't sweat the small things,
And make the best of the big things.

Cherish the experiences you've had,
And use the lessons you've learned.

Our lives are rubber bands,
Bending and stretching to fit
Even the most awkward situations.

You can adapt to anything,
Regardless of its size or shape.

You just have to realize and use
What you have in your own hands.

~~ Author Unknown ~~

All you need is...

2010-02-16T22:13:00.000-08:00

LOVE! All you need is LOVE! All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

Ain't that the truth?!!! <3

sister love

2010-02-08T22:18:00.000-08:00

She is an amazing friend, confidant and
just one of my 3 beautiful sisters.

Our babies are 4 months a part and best friends.
I love that her and the boys are in SF, close enough to have beach days and nights filled with wine and laughter about life and now, then and what's to come.

These are cherished times.

...lucky, I'm in love with my best friend...(Friday Gratitude)

2010-02-05T14:29:00.000-08:00

2004
I came across this picture of our first trip to the beach (Laguna, CA) together, 'way back in the day'. From this one photo, many memories come flooding back to me of this particular day: hand in hand running and dancing in the sand, skipping rocks, laughing deeply, dreaming, kissing and feeling so blessed.

We are still doing all of that today...and feeling, even more than before, blessed.

Two.

2010-02-01T11:19:00.000-08:00

It's true....she really is, two.
My sweet girl, is growing so fast.
I am still enjoying every smile,
kissing away each tear,
hugging longer and tighter each time
and treasuring the moments that truly matter.
She.
is the center.
of our world and matters the most.
<3

How today feels (in Swedish!)

2010-01-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

This is one of Eva's favorite songs for a rainy day.
I could only find it in Swedish.
Still a lovely and whimsical song!

The rain rain rain came down down down
In rushing, rising riv'lets,
'Til the river crept out of it's bed
And crept right into Piglet's!
Poor Piglet, he was frightened,
With quite a rightful fright.
And so, in desperation
A message he did write.
He placed it in a bottle
And it floated out of sight.

And the rain rain rain came down down down
So Piglet started bailing.
He was unaware, atop his chair,
While bailing he was sailing!

And the rain rain rain came down down down
And the flood rose up up upper.
Pooh, too, was caught and so he thought,
"I must rescue my supper!"
Ten honey pots he rescued,
Enough to see him through,
But as he sopped up his supper,
The river sopped up Pooh!
And the water twirled and tossed him
In a honey pot canoe!
The rain rain rain came down down down...

2009-12-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

Eva and "girl" - the little statue down the path

All has been merry and bright for us, but very busy! Now that I have a long break from school I am able to blog more. So here I am.

Christmas came and went and it was lovely. Our days were full of wonderful family and friends and we really enjoyed celebrating together. It was amazing to watch Eva's expressions as she passed by Santa at the mall, decorated our tree, opened gifts and hugged her grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins. This time of year is all the more magical with our little one around.

Mr. & Mrs. Clause had a great time staying up late to assemble a little play kitchen for their mini chef-ette. The next morning she came down stairs and started the coffee straight away! She loves her kitchen and enjoys serving up "weeaally hot." pizza and hamburgers.
Another new toy she enjoys is "Tato head", the Mrs. Potato Head. It was not a perfect match to begin with, when Eva ripped open the wrapping paper she took one look at Mrs. Potatohead and said "NO!" with a frightened expression. Once she was out of the box, Eva warmed up to her and loves to try on her earrings and glasses.

Plans for my winter break include but are not limited to: finishing my application to the MSW program, enjoying lots of snuggle time with my hubby and baby girl, taking long walks and longer baths, spending time with good friends, starting Eva's scrap book and completing a few other crafts I have on my list. Mostly just looking forward to being home and relaxed for a little while...before spring semester starts!

Love to you and yours!

xoxooxox

beautiful moments

2009-10-20T22:50:00.000-07:00

(Click the photo above enlarge)

I love the fall in California. It is OUR season, where we actually see and even smell the transitions happening: leaves turning and falling, days becoming shorter, harvest and crush in wine country ...just to name a few.

Autumn also means so much to me personally as it is the time that my husband and I celebrate our wedding anniversary and then my favorite holidays, Halloween and Thanksgiving.

I always tend to focus more on being thankful around this time of year. I reflect on all that I have and count my blessings everyday.

Today, I am thankful for family, friends and Veterans.

I am thankful for the roof over my head and my warm, comfy bed.

I am thankful for the fact that I am employed and able to go to school.

I am thankful for all of those who have encouraged me.

I continue to be thankful and to count blessings, everyday.

Happy Friday!

2009-10-08T23:53:00.000-07:00

I loved watching as my sweet girl used not only the brush, but her hands to paint beautiful shades of yellow and green.
I loved watching her expressions as she felt the cool paint between her fingers. She was so very into it! She did not want to put down the paint brush! I am looking forward to more moments filled with discovery as this sweet baby of mine, transforms before my eyes into a little girl....sniff, sniff! Along with the transforming...comes the "NO, NO, NO!".

When does that phase end again?

Still waiting, and enjoying!

Wordless...Thursdays!

2009-09-24T09:37:00.001-07:00

These are a few of my favorite things...

2009-09-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

Not monetary possessions, rather:

Baby I'm yours and I'll be yours
Until the mountains crumble to the sea
Yours until the rivers all run free
In other words, until eternity

Savoring.
Mommyhood.
xoxo

distractions:

2009-09-08T23:03:00.001-07:00

have been keeping me from blogging
have helped me to procrastinate
have made me sad
but have kept me hopeful
and reminded me to FOCUS

Life has been so busy lately, but I have been reminded to be thankful for those close to my heart.

Pictures and more this weekend, it's time for school work.

Recently We've...

2009-08-05T23:47:00.001-07:00

1.) Tested out the life jacket to make sure it fits well for use at the lake

2.) Picked beautiful ripe Gravenstien Apples from a friends tree and realized when life gives you apples..the best thing to do is...

3.) Make applesauce

4.) Lots.

5.) Celebrated Eva's 1/2 birthday with a her first fudgesicle

6.) Spent hours at the park, running, picking flowers and trying really hard to jump

7.) Shared a ride with a friend.

8.) Showed Dad how to BBQ

Now we are off to see family and friends. First stop Bemidji MN for Cabin fun, the it is off to South Dakota where more fun awaits. Upon our return we will hit the ground running with school starting for both Eva and I. Pictures of the trip to come...

Here's a fun clip just because this post isn't picture heavy enough :)

2009-07-15T23:04:00.000-07:00

What a busy time this has been. A beautiful wedding, a turn-around trip to Mammoth and spending a vacation day at home with my two most favorite people in the world. There wasn't a place I would rather be then in the pool enjoying all the giggles from Eva and Eric. Water splashing, swallowing, wet little face and a proud glowing daddy. I am a lucky mama. That is for sure.

Now and Then

2009-07-05T22:35:00.001-07:00

I sometimes catch myself when with Eva, on any normal day, wondering what a simple task like coloring, playing ball or anything really, will be like next year or even in 6 month from now. I know that each holiday, each event in our life will be different over the years as she gets older.

(NOTE: She DID NOT get a taste of beer, despite her death grip on the cup!)

Last night, I was remembering how last year on the 4th of July, she slept soundly through the fireworks while Eric, his parents and I watched in the back yard.

This year we were in backyard to enjoy the fireworks show once again, but this time, Eva stayed up to watch with us:
I am so excited for next year! And everything in between.

I hope everyone had a great holiday.

Not Just A Pretty Plant!

2009-06-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

For those of you reading this (MOM!) that have not found Pioneer Woman..her site, is pretty wonderful. Check out the PW site for this YUMMY (and pretty) spring dessert...yes..dessert!

Wordless Wednesdays.

2009-06-17T15:00:00.001-07:00

My Very First Frugile Friday!

2009-06-12T13:58:00.001-07:00

I saw a commercial for these yesterday:

It usually takes me awhile to step outside of my product comfort zone, but I am very curious about this product.

Haven't tried it yet, personally.

Have any of you?

I found a coupon here.

On a lighter note...

2009-06-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

How time has flown.
Life has gone from this:

To this:

In a blink, no - a blink of the eye divided by 2!
This picture was taken by our neighbor. Who has, as you can see, mad picture-taking skills
AND organic yogurt pops that she had put in the freezer.

Perfect for our two teething angels.

It seems like yesterday EC and I were pacing the hardwood floors with our slightly orange newborn bundle of joy. Dodging each crack in the lament floors and maneuvering around the well known noisy floorboard for fear of waking the finally asleep newborn.

We have moved on to bigger things and painful things. Teething. OUCH. I know it has to hurt. Even though we all went through it, I can't really imagine the kind of pain she is experiencing when her two huge molars decide to pop up at the same time. Frozen pineapple and strawberries is what she lives on for these kind of days..oh and baby Tylenol. Poor girl.

The other part of the new experiences for the ever growing Eva is the addition to our family (no, I am not preggers) ...her dolly whom she lovingly calls "dodda". We spent what seemed like hours at the store picking out just the right doll. It is her first, of I am sure, many.

Next post I will show a photo of all the snuggles and loves "dodda" gets.

Just precious.

xoxoox

Celebrating the life and the gift of Johnathan Robert

2009-05-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

Heaven got a new little angel this morning.

A sweet baby boy was given his wings.

Rest in peace our baby Johnathan Robert.

We love you dearly and will miss you.

We know you are in a place without pain and suffering and feel

blessed for the time, smiles and laughter we shared with you.

We are praying each and everyday for you and continued strength for your parents

Gone Fishin'...

2009-05-25T22:56:00.000-07:00

Sunday we spent a lovely day at Smith's Trout Farm, which is nestled among the forest, right outside of Calistoga, CA. I would post a link, but they do not have a website as the business is family owned and operated. In talking to the primary owner, Mr. Smith, I found out that he happily lives on the gorgeous property surrounding the trout farm, as does his children with their families.

This place truly is "away from it all" and so peaceful. We had the best time eating great food with fantastic company, oh yes, and catching trout too! In fact, I caught quite the looker myself..no picture to prove it, but trust me I got the prize for biggest fish of the day.

Some of these pictures are small, so I apologize for that..not sure what happened there!?

This one is of Eva finishing off a ewwy gooey chewy chocolate cookie. If you can't tell from this picture, this little one is pretty well covered in the gooeyness. After she snagged a cookie, she was so happy with it (and herself), I couldn't bring myself to take away her fun. You are only...16 months (this week!!) once, right?!!

Nice posing Evabug!

And as if this is not enough beauty, we stumble upon these two creatures:

xoxoxo

The Up-To-Date

2009-05-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

Eva started parent/child swim lessons a few weeks ago.

This is the same class we were in last summer.
My baby girl is having more and more fun each time we go to the pool.

We are going to sign up for another class this month!

In other news... last Sunday was Eva's baptism.
It was so nice to have most of ourfamily in town to celebrate with us.
Here are just a few pictures:

Eva and Grandpa at Thai Pot..YUM!

Eva's Godparents, Kate and Gerald.

Eva with her Daddy outside of the church

Post-baptism, munchin' on a cracker.

Besides all of the above, I am done with my final and school (for the semester!), we are gearing up for our OC trip next weekend and headin' to the beach today and trout farm tomorrow.
More soon..

xoxox

2009-05-13T12:09:00.000-07:00

Another of my favorites:

2009-05-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

why do I like this song so much?

Everything but the kitchen sink...

2009-05-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

Lots to update seeing in the past few days we have had Mother's Day and Eric's birthday.

Mother's Day was wonderful. We went to church and finalized all of the details for Eva's baptism.

Then, Eric said he wanted to take me to get my present. Next thing I know we're checking out of the Home Depot with 3 new plants and a some climbing roses. These roses were Eric's gift to me; "I wanted to get a beautiful rose plant just for you that would bloom all year around".

He not only planted everything in our little piece of earth outside of our front door, he dug up the clay soil and replaced it with planting soil.

He worked all afternoon,as Eva watched intently.

The finishing product, and a very sweet and thoughtful Mother's Day gift.

Moving on to Eric's birthday, which was yesterday. We celebrated on Saturday with dinner and drinks at 3rd Street Aleworks. It was great to have a group of great friends celebrating with us.

Yesterday being his REAL birthday, I brought him home a yummy cupcake from here. After work, I made a potato pancake pizza with a strawberry carrot salad.

Hash browned potatoes + asiago cheese + mushrooms + asparagus + even more cheese = deliciousness and a VERY happy and full birthday boy.

In the early afternoon, Eva and I went over to the Children's School at SSU. I had a meeting with the director as we are trying to get Eva enrolled in the fall. While we were waiting, Eva got to play:

Also yesterday, it became extremely quiet as I worked at my computer. I call her name,

"Eeevva???", not a peep, because...

she was working so hard to get up here:
So there ya go, a post that has it all.

xoxox

Bloggin' Away

2009-05-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

I am starting this blog as a journal of adventures and everyday life and as a place to keep friends and family up to date on all the Constantine happenings. I hope to update at least once a week, so check back often.

Love to you all.

Steph